possibly the most realistic makeup tutorial I’ve ever seen. doesn’t make you hate yourself or your incompetence unlike most beauty gurus.
Many of us know Olive Garden’s slogan When You’re Here, You’re Family. Well, I recently put that to the test.
The tables were wooden and nice to sit at. The chairs were also comfortable. The view wasn’t anything special, but there was a pretty cool looking van in the Walmart parking lot that had flames on its sides.
I was immediately offered wine, and after admitting I was underage, refused wine. If you’re going to offer me wine, please don’t rescind your offer. It’s common courtesy.
The napkins were probably the highlight. They were cloth and worked really well at cleaning the windows. One waiter told me I didn’t have to do that, but I insisted. After all, I like a good, clear view of parking lots. Who doesn’t.
Finally, it was time to order. I went with the pizza. The menu said I could pick four toppings, so I chose half portions of eight toppings. There were only seven to choose from, though, so I made one up. “…and blorgaspork.”
"Sorry? What is blorgaspork?"
"That’s your job to know, now isn’t it."
After a reasonable wait, my food arrived. It was a really good meal, not exactly overpriced, but not exactly underpriced either. It was just priced.
My waiter soon arrived and asked me if I wanted dessert.
"Steve," I said, "Have a seat."
"I have this business idea. And while I’m here, and we’re family, I was hoping you could give me a loan."
Steve tried to laugh it off. Like it was some kind of joke. I was offended and he could tell. “Steve, this isn’t a joke.”
Steve looked a bit nervous. I grabbed his hands and pinned them to the table. “Are we family or not, Steve.”
"Not in the literal sense…" said Steve. I wasn’t going to let him reason his way out of this one.
"Look, Steve. I cleaned your windows. Family does that for each other. They clean each others’ windows. Now, don’t you think I deserve that loan? We’re family, Steve, we’re family."
Steve handed me 13 bucks. “Thanks, Steve.”
i think google just found me my new favourite gif
WHAT DID YOU SEARCH THAT LED YOU TO THIS MASTERPIECE
Reblog if you think it’s okay for a black person to cosplay a white character
I’m having an argument with my boyfriend about this, and he thinks that me and a select few people are the only ones who think this okay. Please help me prove that he is so very wrong.
SO MUCH LADY LOVE
I LOVE GISELLE YOU GUYS
No, but what gets me in this movie
is that every woman is beautiful to Giselle.
Women who wear suits and aren’t cute and petite. Women with wide hips and large rear ends and small breasts. Women who are black and white and every other ethnicity she came across, I’m sure. Women with straight hair and natural hair and grey hair. Older women and middle-aged women and young women.
Everyone is beautiful to Giselle. There’s no reason anyone wouldn’t be beautiful. There’s no reason beauty should ever be just one thing, that being a princess should ever be just one thing.
Everyone is a princess to Giselle, and if one of the princesses politely corrected her and said they were a prince she’d probably nod earnestly and talk about how dashing and handsome they looked too.
I WILL LITERALLY ALWAYS REBLOG THIS
I like how literally everything on Tumblr is an argument except three things.
The Holy Trinity of Queens
HERE LET ME FIX THIS
….and it looks like I’m the queen